It was one of those unexpected creative moments when I felt like I had to get my ideas down before they were gone. My thoughts poured out through my fingers to the keyboard in front of me. And then it happened! My computer crashed. A major crash! I was overcome with feelings of panic, helplessness, lack of control and the inability to do anything about my situation. I felt the loss of the technology that we have come to depend on to connect us to our world and, more importantly, to other people.
The word "crash" means so many things in our daily vocabulary...cars crash, the stock market crashes, breakable objects crash, waves crash, we crash at people’s houses for the night. My crash with technology triggered memories of those times when I have crashed emotionally...times when I felt totally disconnected with all that was familiar...times when I felt helpless and hopeless to find my way out of a very dark place.
The gift comes when we are able to reach out to others in our times of need. I am blessed that my son is a "techie" and was able to recover most of my information from my hard drive. Times of crisis can also be opportunities to make changes. I made the move from a PC to a Mac! The transition has been time consuming and frustrating with more trips to the Genius Bar at the Apple store than I care to count. But I am excited about the creative possibilities.
My personal emotional "crash" forced me to learn new ways of coping with my illness and to learn a new "operating system" for my life. My old computer is now an expensive paperweight. But it is also a reminder that, while change can be difficult, with the help of others we can move toward new life and new possibilities.